Every second of my life brings me closer to death, closer to the manifold miseries of the human existence as they drift ever nearer to the forefront of my mind. Every second brings my friends and loved ones closer to their deaths and to the senseless suffering they will face.
Every second of my life hides the young, energetic, ambitious man I once was and brings to light the tired and worn-out bag of blood and bones I see in the mirror every morning. Every second reveals yet another broken dream, another long, lost, childlike desire thrown to the wind with age, and with every mistake made comes the assurance of many more to follow.
Every second of my life paints a new picture of the world around me, an ugly picture of things increasingly less familiar, a scary world where the changes get faster and faster and the responses of the mind slower and slower. Every second is a reminder of what I once had but can have no longer, as I watch young children play without a care in the world.
Every second of my life brings the knowledge of mortality up and the energy level down; every second hastens the coming of wrinkles and slows the healing of wounds. Every second robs the four seasons of their splendor, for even when they are arriving, they are already saying goodbye.
Every second of my life reminds me that each second lost is lost forever. Time, like so many opportunities now gone, is unredeemable. Every second is like the ticking clock…tick, tick, ticking away…slowly but surely ticking. You can wish for it all to come to an end right now, but you can’t make the hands of time move any faster. Sure, time flies, but never when you want it to.
Every second of my life, the blood flows and the chemicals change, the mood swings, wants and needs cycle through in course, which makes for an even more turbulent ride on the already hellishly frightful rollercoaster of life. Every second, I wait. Twiddling my thumbs, staring at my walls, I wait for what I know not; maybe good, maybe bad, but when it gets here, it’s usually bad instead of good.
Every second of my life, the prospects grow dimmer. The future is bleak – as was the past, as is the present – while the splendid salvation of an eternal sleep in the dirt seems oh so far away. Every second for me is an eternity, each moment in time a long, ceaseless ordeal before it takes its rightful place in the annals of the regretful past. But every second of my life I love because each one is a step towards the last.
(JH)
The stupidest thing I ever heard came from...
5 comments:
don't you just love the meaningless of it all? It's what gets me up in the morning, the knowledge that now until I die is all the time I have to do what I have to get done.
Also, your post reminds me of a picture I saw with this caption:
Every time you masturbate, god is dead and you live in an uncaring universe
So true! Monkeys cackling in the treetops, that's what we are!
(JH)
Ah, what the hell.
I'm somewhat of an agnostic as well, but sheesh ... it ain't all that bad!
Have a glass of wine or two, enjoy a sunset, watch a football game, go to a concert.
If this is all there is, there's still much worth savoring!
James said...
"I'm somewhat of an agnostic as well, but sheesh ... it ain't all that bad! Have a glass of wine or two, enjoy a sunset, watch a football game, go to a concert. If this is all there is, there's still much worth savoring!"
My reply...
I don't disagree, but saying "it ain't that bad" is where you're wrong. Anyone can (and does) appreciate the good in life. That's a default response. It's recognizing that the momentary pleasures we experience don't justify themselves in the long run that takes mental maturity and an ability to perspectiv-ize purpose (or lack thereof).
(JH)
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